Homeward bound?

Leaving home for the first time, going away to college, is a moment that gets a lot of press. If you have yet to leave home, you probably know what I’m talking about. If you have already left, you can probably remember. People tell you how exciting it is, and what a big turning point it is for your life process. In many ways, leaving home for the first time marks an exciting new stage of adulthood: the beginning of your life outside your families. People tell you that it can be hard, too; that you might feel homesick or that your parents will have a difficult time adjusting to their now “grown-up” child.

The experience that gets less press is the first visit home. I spent seven months away from home before I returned for the first time, but for most this visit occurs after just a few months, at Thanksgiving or Christmas. For me, and for most people I’ve talked to, this moment was one of the most emotionally difficult in the overall trajectory towards independence. Integrating your new self into that familiar family reality is no easy reconciliation. But it’s all part of the process….

So as we’re finishing up papers and taking finals here, I look to my peers, many of whom will be going home for the first time in just about a week, and wish them the best of luck. It’s not easy to go home, and after the first round of hugs it suddenly becomes far less exhilarating than that initial departure. But while some things in life are easily changed, relationships certainly do not fall into that category. My only advice, what I remind myself of every day, is to be patient with the experience. It’s all part of the process.