Homeward bound?

Leaving home for the first time, going away to college, is a moment that gets a lot of press. If you have yet to leave home, you probably know what I’m talking about. If you have already left, you can probably remember. People tell you how exciting it is, and what a big turning point it is for your life process. In many ways, leaving home for the first time marks an exciting new stage of adulthood: the beginning of your life outside your families. People tell you that it can be hard, too; that you might feel homesick or that your parents will have a difficult time adjusting to their now “grown-up” child.

The experience that gets less press is the first visit home. I spent seven months away from home before I returned for the first time, but for most this visit occurs after just a few months, at Thanksgiving or Christmas. For me, and for most people I’ve talked to, this moment was one of the most emotionally difficult in the overall trajectory towards independence. Integrating your new self into that familiar family reality is no easy reconciliation. But it’s all part of the process….

So as we’re finishing up papers and taking finals here, I look to my peers, many of whom will be going home for the first time in just about a week, and wish them the best of luck. It’s not easy to go home, and after the first round of hugs it suddenly becomes far less exhilarating than that initial departure. But while some things in life are easily changed, relationships certainly do not fall into that category. My only advice, what I remind myself of every day, is to be patient with the experience. It’s all part of the process.

Out and About

Barry Schwartz called it the paradox of choice: some choice brings freedom, but it doesn’t follow that more choice only increases freedom. How many times in your life have you felt overwhelmed by the choices you are presented with? Think about it. I’d be willing to bet it’s an experience you can all identify with on some level. Another paradoxical situation comes up when you live in a big capital city—there is so much to do, so much to see, so much to experience… and yet it’s hard to know where to begin.

Thankfully, we at Suffolk have Silvia, her weekly “What’s on in Madrid” newsletter, and the Disfruta Madrid Club. Through the Disfruta Madrid Club Silvia organizes evenings of tapas, theater, flamenco, or afternoon game days and cooking classes, all at a discounted price to students. My first outing with the Distruta Madrid Club was to a tapas tour, where Silvia marched us around the city to three of the oldest and most famous tapas bars in Madrid, where she ordered us the house specialty. It’s true that going out for tapas is something easy to do on ones own, but knowing what to eat where is arguably the most important part of the experience. It was a delicious evening.
My second outing then was to a flamenco show at Casa Patas. Casa Patas is a famous flamenco destination in Madrid, but it’s down a small, dark road, and I may never have ventured there on my own accord. It was breathtaking, though—a quintessential Spanish experience. Everyone who was there had a wonderful time.

Personally, I also really like receiving Silvia’s weekly newsletter: “What’s on in Madrid”. These newsletters give information on restaurants to try, movies to go see, art exhibits to catch. Of course it’s just a snippet of all that’s happening in the city, but it’s a great place to start when you find yourself presented with a free Saturday afternoon.

I think walking down the street and seeing posters for art exhibits, or riding the metro and seeing advertisements for concerts, shows, or movies is one of my favorite aspects of living in a capital city, a ‘destination’ city. One can easily fill all of his or her time just visiting museums, cafes, parks, restaurants, shops, and theaters… and still miss things. With so many options and so much choice, it helps to have a local to bring your attention to the hidden gems. Thank you, Silvia.